It’s been 10 months since I was in Toronto and despite ups and downs I have done enough in this city, I have my habits. However, I still have not made myself to this loneliness.
I lived with my parents in a big house in the country with a garden and stray cats, my grandma lives in the house right next to ours. So we can say that, although I lived my life, I was never alone. When I did not feel good, had a bad day or wanted to give up any project, I had my family around me who supported me (as best as she could , I’m pretty tough 😄).
I also had my friends who allowed me to see the world and not go crazy!
The concern here is that Canadians do not have the same sense of « friendliness » as the French. So, you find yourself very soon alone.
My big problem was to arrive in the middle of winter. At this time, groups like meetup do not offer a lot of activities, if at all. This is a great way to get acquainted and you also choose groups by infinity so you will end up with people with whom you will have common points. Most of the time the French choose French bands because it is not among Canadians that you will make friends. Personally, I thought that everything that had been said to me was wrong, but I realized to my mind that the Canadians, in addition to not loving the French, did not really want to mix with us.
I have colleagues with whom I get on very well. Sometimes I go to eat with them or go for a drink but where things differ with France is that we do not share anything about our lives and they do not invite us for evenings or events. They are just there occasionally. They are only « day pals ». It’s the same principle as the « day pajamas », you have pajamas with no hole and no wrinkles, classy enough to be seen by people who can pass at home but comfortable enough to stay in the sofa 😝 They are there to have a good time but do not take part in your life.
It’s their way of life! If they do not know you from school, they will not trust you or want to integrate you into their lives. Unlike us where we integrate easily enough people to ours.
The boredom in all this is that I find myself more than 6 000km from home, my family and my friends, and that I have not yet had the opportunity to meet French with whom to go out. I find myself alone without speaking and especially without support.
It’s very difficult for me, I need to talk to externalize and keep my cool. But I think it may be better that way, it is difficult to meet people who understand you.
Anyway, short! All that to say that my mom miss me terribly 😔 I’m in my thirties I still need her magic hugs.