To continue the article on my Resolution for this winter, let’s talk a little about the second concern that I have and on which I will also work this winter: accept me as I am!
In a society like ours where the perfect body is a crucial element to have a happy life, I suffocate! A chance for me I’m not the only one.
I started dieting at the age of 16 after starting the pill. I took ten kilograms and my mother could not stand to see me « stuff me », so I started to go on a diet. Since then, I really had some problems with the food. Besides, I still have some. For me, feeding is a matter of necessity and not pleasure.
Two or three years ago, I managed to reach my « perfect » weight and instead of being happy I closed myself even closer. What I was not doing being bigger (???), heavy (???) – I do not know which term is the most appropriate. At the time when I weighed 70kg – OMG! 😱 NO I’m not ashamed to say my weight! Why should we be ashamed ?! – I was super happy and blossomed. I LOVED ME !!! During my weight loss (after a personal problem that did not help the situation) I wanted to lose even more weight, after all I managed to weigh 51kg so why not go under 50kg?!? Except we forget one thing EXTREMELY important: my health!
When I was thin, I had a major hormonal problem and I was tired for everything & nothing. Despite a perfect blood test, I was wasting away and my heart was getting tired. I felt my heart beat faster and react abnormally. But it was when I almost passed out, for the second time and in front of my mother, that I had to put on weight again. I convinced myself that it was the best for me but I have to admit I did it very badly 😞
A few months ago I saw a video on the BFMTV app of a certain Ely Killeuse. It made me think about all our problems of self-image. What we really felt and why we were so mean to others. On her blog, she says that the eyes of others touch us a lot because we give it a lot of importance and if the gratuitous malice provokes in us a feeling of total depression it is because we are ourselves naughty with the others. For my part, it’s been a long time since I did not criticize someone, on the contrary, I am in awe of these women who dare and who are not afraid but despite all that comes back to be jealous and so we returns to the feeling of total depression LOL
However, it finally made me understand why I am so demanding with me! There is of course the fact that I want to be appreciated by everyone but there is also the fact that I am a control maniac coupled with a perfectionist 😕 So a stub that exceeds it is NO THANKS !!! Unfortunately in my family we have problems intestines which complicates things because a nothing can make me swell the belly up to have the belly of a pregnant woman.
So I have all my winter to find a diet (for my gut), do a little sport (to strengthen everything) and read the book of Dr. Zermati (Maigrir sans régime) & that of Ely Killeuse (body positive attitude).
[GOOGLE TRANSLATION + Me]