🇬🇧[Blog] I am not afraid about death – I am afraid about life!

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I’m not afraid of life in the way that I can’t stand life anymore and I want to end it because death is more peaceful. NOT AT ALL!

I mean I just realized that life is unpredictable and I am a control maniac who really hates change. I thought I could handle all details of my life but more my life goes by more I see it’s impossible (I really hate using this word but it’s real!).

Death is inevitable but definitely not a surprise. It hurts those who remain but it’s part of our lives, which makes it as delicate as a flower. When we understand this, death is not scary anymore. Plus, some of us believe in life after death or reincarnation. Death becomes just the end of a journey, or a renewal.


So, I started to get interested in this famous trip. I admit that I didn’t like what I saw 😁
Unpredictability can be really beautiful – you need to love the beauty of every day – but at the same time it’s something really scary for me! I have to start thinking about my future life, but how to make the right choice knowing that my projects (which have never been successful for now) will not fail or just see the light of day. We are sure of nothing, so I can’t projecting myself far or when I do it I have horrible anxiety attacks. 

I know that it’s essential to live the moment, especially in our society, where we can’t find time for ourselves and breathe a little bit. However, I can’t just think of right now, I must project myself a minimum in this completely uncertain future! When I do that it’s the existential crisis 😂


Life really scares me in the way that I’m afraid to miss out on something fabulous by not making the right decisions. Life is made of « what if« , how not to give it so much importance?

My wish is to live a life at 100%, I mean to see the world, meet people and learn! I would like my goddaughter look at me with admiring eyes and say one day « When I grow up I want to be like my godmother« , but for now I have the feeling that life leads me on a path boring to die 😟

I don’t know really what I want 😕 I would like to reach people, help them on a large scale, change the world, do incredible things and perhaps leave a tiny bit of history (without it being with a sordid history). You will certainly think that you are reading a child’s blog but not at all 😛, you read the blog of a thirty-ish too naive who thinks that it can change the world as in the movies 😂



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